Friday, March 12, 2010

Just a Boy?

So Cooper has this thing he's been doing for a couple of months now, where he growls and puts up his hands and says in this raspy, growly voice, "I'm Batman!".
Then he proceeds to scare Kara and gets right up in her face.  Sometimes he pinches or just touches her with his hands stretched out... of course she cries and he does it over and over again.
We've told him that Batman is nice and he gets the bad guys and brings them to the police, etc.
We've told him that it's bad manners to scare anyone.
We've told him over and over that he's acting too silly and to stop.
We've told him not to touch Kara - or anyone.

He'll just say OK, or SORRY in a sing songy voice then do it again in 10 minutes.
(It's REALLY getting on our nerves!- especially the non-chalant 'sorrrrrrry').

This has come from a school friend - not surprising - and now Cooper is often getting write-ups (sad faces) at school for disrupting behaviour, not cooperating with the teachers, not listening, etc.
It seems he doesn't know how to, or won't, turn off the silliness. 

We've tried various things to reprimand him for his behaviour.
He's been put in time out for repeatedly disobeying us.
There's no t.v. when he gets a write up (however, that's unfair to Kara)
Today, we will go to the Rodeo IF they don't get any write ups.
Next we will take his costumes away for a few days if he continues the scaring. (But he does it with or without his costume on)
We've been very positive, saying you can do it, you're a big boy.  Listen to your teachers if they tell you to stop acting silly. 
He does respond to positive reinforcement better than negative though because when we are positive, he'll say, Look Mommy, watch me, then he'll hug and kiss Kara.  It's very sweet and we make a big deal over him being nice and gentle towards her.
We have a sticker behaviour chart that I haven't instilled yet, but that may be the answer.
We still need to try a few more things.

I keep wondering though, is this just a 'boy' thing, or is it a problem in the making?
We've been told by a teacher friend of ours that we need to nip it in the bud NOW before he turns into the class clown and that becomes his M.O.

He can be such a sweet, kind, caring, gentle little guy when he wants to be but most of the time, he's just a crazy little man.

Oh man this parenting gig is HARD.


Chris said...

I hear ya! My son is the silliest and I worry he'll end up the class clown as well. He can be so silly and get so wound up. he does the mean face thing as well even though every time he does it we've been telling him he has to go to his room. Sounds harsh, but otherwise he thinks it's funny.

Christine said...

Hi. I don't know how I happened across your blog but I wanted to encourage you. Most of this sounds like regular boy stuff so rest assured. I think you are right on about taking the costume away. I would let sit him down and explain athis level how we don't do certain things. Then I would let him know that if they happened again I would take the costume away for one full day even if it is an accident or he forgot. Kids love boundaries where they are free to play and explore knowing what they can and cannot do. I just wrote about the change in my son since we brought him home this past summer.