Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
Cooper has been very defiant lately - in the last 3 weeks or so.
Sometimes, when something doesn't go his way, he has a mini-meltdown. I know this is a typical 3 year old behaviour but it's also typical older child adoption behaviour.
As a toddler, he has to 'test' us constantly to prove to himself that the rules are still there.
As an adoptee, he needs to know that he can trust us to ALWAYS follow through with the consequences that we impose, hence the trust title.
If he refuses to put on his socks (like this morning) we impose a consequence of: If you refuse, you will not be able to wear 'big orange' (his absolute favorite UT hoodie). If you do not put your socks on, you will not go to the mall park. He did refuse, cried, screamed, had a tantrum with kicking, slamming doors and the works...all because we asked him to put his socks on.
He did end up putting on his socks but did not get to wear 'big orange'.
So we followed through, we went to the mall park but he did not wear his beloved 'big orange'. Of course, at the mall there was another meltdown, but that's for another story!
I guess the premise of me writing this is to say that we know that he does not completely trust us yet so he puts us through LOTS of tests.
We have to be diligent and follow through with any consequences we impose because in his mind, what if we don't always follow through? Then maybe one day we won't follow through and pick him up from school. And in his mind, we may not always mean it when we say I love you...
It's exhausting at times but the most important thing to realize is that if we continue to be effective and attentive parents, this too shall pass and he'll eventually be a secure, confident, trusting young man.
I'll leave you with a picture of the kids 6 months ago when we first met them, and a picture from yesterday... They grow up way too fast!